Welcome to My Alternate Reality

When you are married to a professional athlete and your life revolves around a sport, you feel like you are in an alternate reality and in many ways, you are.   Baseball is a sport unlike most, one in which you can be drafted as many as four times, and sometimes never play with the “Big Team.”  This is something that most people have a hard time comprehending due to the complexity of the Minor League Baseball Organization, AKA the Farm System.
When I try to explain the lifestyle that I live and the way the organization works, few can understand.   I am often asked the same questions over and over again, ultimately feeling like a broken record.   Truth is, most will never know or even begin to grasp what the life of a professional athlete and their family entails.   You can liken us to a different species, a breed all on our own.
For athletes and their wives, days, or even weeks apart is normal, moving on a whim is expected, and spending more than half the year in hotels is typical.    Many wives are successful in their own right, but most put their careers on hold in favor of their husband’s.   The Major Leagues offer more normalcy than the Minor Leagues in various ways, and I can tell you that having the higher income makes for a MUCH more manageable life, but regardless of where you are, this life is one of many trials.
This year I am moving with another married couple and a single, soon-to-be engaged player in order to save money.  I will have a total of three roommates, not including my husband and our four-legged children.  At the end of the day, if the guys are home for more than 15 days a month, that’s a lot.   There is no reason to have our own apartment when I will be alone the majority of the time anyway.  When I explained my living arrangements to my friends they were taken off guard.    To most people, being married and having roommates is “strange” to say the least, but to be perfectly frank, having roommates is the least of the unusual circumstances.
When David and I got married he came home for the weekend and left the day after the wedding.   We didn’t have a honeymoon like most couples, until nearly a year later.   We spent the first six months of marriage apart and I think I saw him a handful of times for 24-48 hours at a time.   Our marriage was not at all typical and to say that I wasn’t slightly disappointed would be a lie.  It was hard being married and feeling like nothing had changed; there is no denying that.    You feel like the day that you make your vows to one another should be the day that you can no longer be without each other, still, in this life you are apart as often as you are together and the only way that isn’t the case is if you can afford to live out of a hotel half the year and rent/own a house at the same time.
It goes without saying that everything I have explained above excludes the complexity that comes into play once you have children.   I can’t speak to that experience but when I have kids I am sure I will.   I definitely want to wait a few years to take that next step and ideally, once David has a secure job in the Majors. Nevertheless, “ideally” is hardly relevant in this life.   Right now we are just living day by day, working hard to make David’s lifelong dream of playing 10+ years in the Major Leagues a reality.

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  1. Reply

    Sofia Campins

    April 3, 2012

    You are one very special Young Woman and I am so very proud of you!

  2. Reply

    Valerie (all mussed up)

    April 9, 2012

    I admire your decision to keep your chin up and your heart free of resentment. My man is often gone with his band, and I know how confusing that mixture of longing/pride/hope/sadness can be. It takes a lot of gumption to wake up in the morning and choose to love your husband, even when he’s not there next to you. Bravo and keep it up!

    • Reply

      Baseball Serendipity

      April 9, 2012

      Thank you for your kind words. It is never easy being apart as I see you know, but staying positive is the best way to get through it. Resentment is a battle I have had to fight throughout my life, but I know that it is the biggest thing that can hold you back. Thanks again!

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