On the Defense

Have you ever felt so strongly about something that you spent years defending it, only realize that what you have been fighting so hard to defend never needed defending to begin with?   Given that you just followed that very long sentence, what I am trying to get at is that sometimes all you need, is to know in your heart that what you do or what you believe in, is right – for YOU.
Ever since I decided to quit my job and move with my husband for the season, I have felt like I needed to defend women alike that stand by their husbands in a world that is so driven by gender equality that we have lost sight of the significance of a woman’s devotion to her man.   There is something to be said about a woman who is confident enough in herself, that she is willing when able, to put her career aside in favor of her husband’s.   A woman who unselfishly does what she not only believes to be important, but what she knows to be important in the grand scheme of things.
I don’t particularly like to get political, but one recent example can be seen in the case of Ann Romney and her job, or what others would consider lack-there-of.    I honestly think is it comical that a woman these days can raise a handful of children, run a household, be married to a successful businessman and be considered anything less than adequate or intelligent, for that matter.
It is for reasons such as the above that so many women today feel the need to defend their choice not to work, in the traditional sense.  Over decades we have made strides towards women’s rights but just as we have earned rights, we have also become targets.   It is almost as if women can do no right; you either work too much and are a poor mother or you don’t work at all and you offend all feminists along with all other likeminded individuals.  What ever happened to choice?  How nice would it be to live free of criticism, free of the “evil eye” and the overwhelming pressures of society.
I reached a moment of clarity earlier today, at which time I felt I didn’t need or want to defend my choices anymore.   I have always been a seeker of justice and as such, always been on the defense, not necessarily for me, but for others that I felt needed a voice.   Isn’t it time to stop looking at others around us with such judgment and accept people’s choices?
What really compelled me to write today, was this clarity and moment of truth, coupled with facts that have I come to witness in the past few months.  For example, I will never understand why people take time out of their day to write nasty comments on blogs about athletes and their wives.  It seems an overwhelming number of people feel the need to judge and even more so, pigeonhole us wives as gold-diggers and bimbos who marry men for the sole purpose of their bank account and liken athletes to nothing better than adulterous trophy seeking jerks.
Given that I am choosing to play offense rather than defense, I will be letting comments such as the ones above roll off my back.   I have come to realize that at times it is better to remain quiet, for it is in silence that we can truly hear and eventually reach a level of peace where you no longer feel the need to play defense.
As of today, I am making a pledge to myself to let hurtful comments slide and not allow the rude person at the grocery store to ruin my day.   I am tired of always feeling like the choices that I make are not going to jive with people around me or that somehow I am going to offend someone for doing what I feel to be best for me and my family.   I applaud women who do right by themselves and right by their men; women who respect the wonderful nation that we live in and the rights that we have to make our own choices.    I can truly say that I feel more centered than ever and I am happy right where I am.  People can continue to say what they will but I’m getting stronger by the minute and I won’t let anything get in the way of my and David’s happiness.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

  1. Reply

    Bird

    May 7, 2012

    Sorry you are running into that so much!! My guess would be that it is simple jealousy that makes people pick at you and your choices…You’ve made a really good decision to blow them off, in my opinion. I know if I had the chance to move around with my husband while he did something that most people only get to dream about..AND get paid for it, I’d jump at it. Enjoy your cool life… I’m happy for you!! So are probably most people…A few bad apples always make the biggest stink…oh please.

    • Reply

      Baseball Serendipity

      May 7, 2012

      Thanks! It only takes one bad apple… I just have to keep my head up and ignore it. Have a great night!

      • Reply

        Bird

        May 7, 2012

        You, too!

  2. Reply

    tom

    May 7, 2012

    … People that spend their time online tearing apart other peoples’ lives are simply angry at themselves about how their own life is going. It’s basically a jealousy thing (for lack of a better word). You rock and they, well, nevermind … I don’t want to get in trouble for posting foul language! LOL — Peace.

    • Reply

      Baseball Serendipity

      May 7, 2012

      Thanks Tom. I definitely think jealousy is the right answer. Many people are quick to judge and in most cases don’t know the least bit about the people they are judging. The hurtful comments are projections of their own insecurities.

      • Reply

        tom

        May 7, 2012

        … you are correct. And, if they actually knew you (or your family), they wouldn’t be spewing garbage like that. You are living and loving a beautiful life … enjoy it and God bless.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.