Inconsolable by Destiny

It was only a few hours ago that I had planned on writing about destiny and how everything in life happens for a reason.   I will elaborate on my reasoning for that in a moment, but I have to begin this blog with some sad news that has me on the verge of being inconsolable.
It was possibly two hours after I had planned on writing this blog that I went outside for a mere moment to speak with my landlord and a neighbor. When I saw my tomboy cat, Blade, roaming outside, I instinctually grabbed him and put him in the house.  Within a few minutes of talking, I looked over to my right and saw my dog annoying my landlord’s cat.   Everything happened so fast, but I can replay it in slow motion a million times.  When my landlord’s cat was fed up with my dog, he did what he has done a million times in the past, and crossed the street.  In the blink of an eye, an SUV flew by and I heard and saw two huge thumps.  The cat had been run over.   All I could do is scream.   I started trembling and screaming to the point that my friend ran out of my house all concerned.
The cat died instantly and I felt as though it was my fault.  I was shaking for a good 30 minutes and my plans for the day suddenly changed.   I will now be staying in and I cancelled everything I had originally scheduled due to my lack of tranquility.    It was at this point that my friend explained to me that the cat was going to die today despite my actions or my dog’s actions.   She explained further that no matter what I did, God had planned for that poor cat to die.   Despite my beliefs, I refuse to accept that a poor innocent cat was part of a greater plan.   When I spoke with my mom she said the same thing.   She insisted that the cat sacrificed himself in order to prevent something worse from happening to someone else.   The more I thought about the accident the more I cried and eventually sobbed.    I couldn’t believe that the person that hit the cat didn’t stop and I screamed about a million times cursing at the rooftops.  I so wish that sometimes we can turn back the clock, just a moment, and make everything ok again.
This brings me to the irony of what I had planned to write before all this happened.  I wrote in my previous post that I sometimes catch myself asking the question “What if?”  I can tell you for certain, that if David had decided to sign after high school he would have started playing with the Detroit Tigers.   The injury that happened two years ago may have never happened, and he could very possibly be playing in the Major Leagues right now, either with the Tigers or the Mariners (given that the trade with Cliff Lee would have happened all things equal minus the injury).   So many things could’ve or would’ve been different.  Despite the fact that I ultimately believe in destiny, I also believe in free will.   For example, I think that the decision to attend UVA instead of sign with the Tigers was David’s choice, not the illusion of a choice.
It was also David’s choice to make the play on the field that faithful day that ultimately resulted in his injury two years ago.   I can honestly sit here until I am blue in the face and go over the various scenarios and what is, and what could have been.   At the end of the day we are all here for a reason.   Whatever the greater picture, we will get there in due time – that is something I believe wholeheartedly.   If David’s destiny is to be a baseball player for the next 15 years, he will do just that.   If his destiny however, is to do this for just a short while, then so be it.   The road in which we travel is our choice, but the destination, I believe, is somewhat set.   I have always known in my heart that David was placed on this Earth to be someone great.   He has the character of a leader and he is one of the nicest people I have ever known.   I truly believe that he deserves all he has ever wanted in this life and I know it is only a matter of time before it will be so.
After an emotionally draining day, I hope to be able to shake this horrible feeling and the visual I have in my head of the tragic incident.    As I lay in bed with my three beautiful cats and my puppy, I thank God for the gifts he has brought me in them and my prayers go out to the cat whom I hope is at peace in heaven.
*I am sorry if there are any typos in this blog.  I could only proof read it once because I cry every time I relive it.

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  1. Reply

    Sofia Campins

    March 31, 2012

    YOU ARE SOO INCREDIBLE AND SO SPECIAL!

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