“When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.”
After attending the PAO conference last week I subscribed to the Baseball Chapel’s daily devotional emails. All the emails I have received are incredibly relevant and do a great job of reinforcing what I already know deep down to be true. I find that receiving a little token of enlightenment on a daily basis goes a long way in securing your roots even further into the ground.
Today the email that I read had to do with what I feel so strongly to be true. As a baseball player’s wife, it is very easy to feel like your husband’s shadow. Regardless of whether you have a career, are a stay at home mother, or run your husband’s charity, it is easy to feel like you aren’t being seen. In a good marriage however, these feeling are not evoked by your husband, rather, they come from within.
Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be self-sufficient. My mother instilled in me a desire to never rely on anyone, not even my husband. For years I held on tight to that belief. I always set high expectations for myself and it was easy to get disappointed when things didn’t go as I had expected. Today I can say with confidence that God and destiny, as you may have it, planned a much different life for me than I had imagined.
I strongly believe in visualization and manifesting your own destiny, but I also believe that when you want something that is not intended for you, and you do not believe that things happen for a reason, you will allow yourself to be disappointed when things don’t go as you had initially planned. I am done being disappointed. I know now, that God has a better future in store for me than I could ever imagine and that my life has been pretty amazing.
There have been struggles along the way, but we are the sum of our experiences, and without those struggles, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I have spoken with my husband on several occasions about the fact that at some point I want to stop working. This is not because I don’t want to work, but because my responsibilities now, are to my husband. For better or for worse, I will be by his side. It took me far too long to realize this, but as I grow spiritually stronger, I am finding enlightenment in places I never imaged.
My job right now, aside from selling real estate, is to be my husband’s biggest fan – to be his rock and a source of his joy. I make it my responsibility to encourage him when he needs encouragement, to hold him when he needs to be held, and to never stop loving him. The career that he chose for himself is one of trials and tribulations, of uncertainty and of change. By no means is the job of an athlete easy. In fact, it is one of the most trying careers when it comes to living a stable life. Anyone who lives this life will tell you that tomorrow is unknown and that planning is a thing of the past. As an avid planner, I can tell you I am completely out of my comfort zone. Nevertheless, my job as I see it, is to be the one stable, completely familiar thing, in my husband’s life. I will now, stop at nothing to be that for him. If I have to go to the ends of the world, I will. I will travel with a suitcase of clothes and my animals, because we are a family. All families are different, and this is mine.